All This Heavenly Glory by Elizabeth Crane
Reviewed by L.D.Y.
Hardcover, 224 pages, 2005
Rating: 8/10
Reason for Reading: Someone saying they ‘adore’ an author is generally a good sign
that you should give them a whirl, is it not?
Synopsis: Travel along with Charlotte Anne Byers as she spends her life looking
for a place where she can be herself (once she figures out who exactly that might be), from
precarious childhood friendships, through lowering herself to the indignities of teenage
dating, to the quest of her thirties to shake off the tempestuous years of her twenties and
finally get her life on track.
Why you should read this book: The challenge: if you can just manage to wrap your
brain around the first chapter of All This Heavenly Glory. which is probably one of
the longest run-on sentences you’ve read since Virginia Woolf, you’re in for a treat. All
This Heavenly Glory can satisfy your craving for more in-depth chick-lit; rather than drawing out one or two relationships for three hundred pages, Crane includes a sweeping reach of over thirty years of Charlotte Anne’s life. Charlotte Anne’s frenzied, unrestrained thoughts
are spellbinding and endearing in their honesty and completeness. The book has a story, or
at least a vibe, that many women can relate to - the uncertainty of life and the challenges
of growing up, even when you’re long past the magical age of 18. A solid read that rewards
the effort of adapting to reading Crane’s meandering style of writing.
Why you should avoid this book: While the rest of the book doesn’t go to the
extreme lengths of the opening chapter, Charlotte Anne is sometimes long-winded to the point
where you’d be forgiven for using the phrase ‘rambling neurotic.’ Not for the reader that
prefers straight-forward sentences and a purpose-driven plot.
Opening paragraph:
SWF, above average on a really good day, on a bad day still fairly cute but you
might want to mention that her hair doesn’t look too big before she has to ask, frequently
compared to a certain movie star (who shall remain nameless a) in case you don’t think she
resembles the star, b) in case you don’t find the star especially beautiful, and also c)
because every time someone says they look like someone in a personal ad it’s more like those
separated-at-birth things where the allegedly more attractive person suddenly looks
distorted and creepy, like Winona Ryder looks eerily like Vincent Price and you can never
really see her again in the same way, or if it’s a guy who’s comparing himself to let’s say
Ed Harris when in fact he looks more like Curly), is not even remotely overweight but has
finally and recently and very reluctantly joined a gym due only to her doctor mentioning
something about crumbling bones […]
Fabulous quotes:
Clarisse drifts away from Charlotte Anne and towards Leslie Bacon, an
almost-member of the D.O.B.L. (mutually rejected upon the basis of her loafers, which, while
identical in style, were brown) who has similar proclivities and double-dates with the
twenty-four year old’s twenty-three year old business partner. (Though twelve-year-old
Clarisse, like Charlotte Anne, is already 5′6″, C.A. wonders where exactly they go on their
double dates that no one bothers to say, “Um, excuse me Mr. Cool Ponytail Guy, shouldn’t you
be in jail?”)
She wanted to be a filmmaker, but what if she wanted to write a novel? What if
she suddenly overcame her stage fright and learned how to play an instrument and got asked
to sing backup for Tenacious D? How could she say no to that, except what if her movie was
opening the same night as the Tenacious D tour and she had to decide between the two?
Couldn’t you sing backup for Tenacious D and also be a filmmaker? Who decided that you
couldn’t? Someone who was too tired to figure out what to call someone who was a filmmaking
backup singer? Why did career have to imply one thing? Why did goals seem to imply an end?
What happens if you meet all your goals? Do you like, shoot off into space or something and
burst into a worldwide fireworks display announcing goal-completion and then cease to
exist?
Also recommended: Behind the Scenes at the Museum by Kate Atkinson;
White Teeth by Zadie Smith; Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides.
Also by this author: When the Messenger is Hot.
Fun tidbit: Crane’s inspiration to begin writing at the age of eight? A read of
Louise Fitzhugh’s 1964 classic, Harriet the Spy.
Would I read more by this author? Yes. Her writing is light but certainly not
brainless.
© Lisa Yanaky 2003-2005